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- Written for John Hodgman's Little Gray Books Lecture #23: "Brookline, The Town That Has Everything Yet at the Same Time Has Nothing", delivered on November 5, 2003. 
- The lyric "A talk show host, an author, a president, a king" could refer to any number of people. Jonathan has admitted in an interview  to having made up the "president" and "king" parts, yet John F. Kennedy was born in Brookline (as was author and frequent Jonathan Coulton collaborator John Hodgman) and King Gillette lived there. The talk show host is Conan O'Brien. The King may refer to King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand []
Available only as a download.
An mp3 of the original Little Gray Book performance from November 5, 2003 is available here.
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|1. Screwed (demo) - 2. Bills, Bills, Bills - 3. A Laptop Like You (demo) - 4. Bacteria - 5. Brookline (demo) - 6. Dance, Soterios Johnson, Dance (demo) - 7. Beds Hurt My Booty - 8. I Crush Everything (demo) - 9. Skullcrusher Mountain (demo) - 10. The Future Soon (demo) - 11. Gambler's Prayer (demo) - 12. Mandelbrot Set (demo) - 13. Camp Bachelor Alma Mater|