First of May Olympics

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The First of May Olympics are an annual event, started in 2008 by Spiff. The aim is to copulate in the open air as much as possible, in line with the lyrics of the song First of May.

Rules

Each participant gets points for their own part of the festivities. So if both you and your partner complete Activity Two (see Activities, below), then your team gets a total of 10 points for that. If only one person gets the stimulating, it's only worth 5 points. If you also completed any of the other "events", add those points in too. Add up your total points to get a combined score for your team and post it here on May 2nd. No fibbing!

All events must take place outdoors. NO POINTS are awarded for any of these events if they take place within the confines of two or more walls. Being under a roof but not surrounded by walls, as in the case of being under an overhang of some kind, does count as being outdoors. A car counts as indoors for the purpose of the FoM Olympics -- no points will be awarded for activities performed in a car.

All events must be performed between 12:00am May 1st and 11:59pm May 1st to contribute towards your total score for the day's competition. Events performed outside this window of time do not count towards your point total. If it's rainy or cold on that day, you're just going to have to decide how much you want to win!

Please post your totals on the talk page. Awards will be given out once winners are confirmed and award trophy icons created. No fibbing, please!

DISCLAIMER: The First of May Olympics is a whimsical event for adults who find such things entertaining. If you do not find things like this entertaining or are too young to participate in whatever legal jurisdiction you happen to find yourself, please feel free to ignore it completely.

Events

Activities

  1. Kissed passionately enough to draw stares from people around you, if there are any people around you, for at least 5 minutes (the presence of onlookers isn't mandatory, but if they were around, they'd stare at you) = 1 point.
  2. Manually stimulated a partner to a happy ending (you know what I mean) = 5 points.
  3. Orally stimulated a partner to a happy ending = 15 points. UPDATE: In the event that both participants on a team are of the lesbian persuasion, an additional +10 points will be awarded for oral stimulation of the partner to the happy ending, however these additional points will only be awarded upon the successful completion of the partner's second happy ending. A single sapphic happy ending will still be worth only 15 points.
  4. Orally stimulated a partner for at least 5 minutes but not to a happy ending = 10 points (well worth the effort)
  5. Performed the deed to to its happy ending = 25 points (remember fellas, if only you get the happy ending, you're missing out on adding her points to your total)
  6. Performed the deed but not to a happy ending = 15 points (you should get something for trying, yes?)
  7. Each additional position after the first, the position must be performed for at least 2 minutes = +3 points, with a maximum position-switching total bonus of +15 per participant

Nekkidness

  1. Completely nekkid = +15 points.
  2. Partially nekkid (a requirement if you're going to do the deed anyway) = +5 points.
  3. Covered up (under a blanket, no fair) = -5 (cancels out the "partially nekkid" bonus completely)

Location

  1. Location is so isolated as to preclude detection (e.g. you live on a farm miles away from the closest prying eyes) = -10 points.
  2. The deed was performed so quickly that the whole thing didn't take at least 10 minutes = -10 points

Example

An example -- two partners, one manually stimulates the other to the happy ending, then they partially strip and have a quicky behind the shed. 5 points (one manual) plus 10 points (2x partially nekkid) plus 25 points (he got his happy ending here) plus 15 points (she didn't get a happy ending during the deed, but what are you going to do?) minus 20 points (it was a quickie, which decrements each participant 10 points). Total = 35 points.

F.A.Q.

  • What if I'm indoors but all the windows and drapes are open? Sorry, but the rules clearly state that you must be outdoors. So while the neighbors may enjoy your open-windowed exhibitionism, it's not worth any points in the FoMo competition.
  • How does wearing a skirt or dress during an event affect my score? Wearing a skirt or dress is pretty close to being "Covered Up", which is a -5 point penalty. But since some amount of au naturale-ness will still be required for performing The Deed, that penalty doesn't really apply. However, you definitely can't qualify for the "Partially Nekkid" +5 point bonus while wearing a skirt or dress unless you're also showing some serious skin somewhere else (you know what I mean). So, while the wearing of skirts/dresses in an attempt to not really be nekkid during the competition is perhaps unsportsmanlike behavior, it's essentially a wash and is worth a net +0 points to your score.
  • What if I don't have a partner? Can I still participate in the FoM Olympics? Singles can definitely participate in the FoM Olympics by performing any of the acts described above on themselves while outdoors. However they will be at a disadvantage since (a) some of the events will be pretty difficult to do to yourself, and (b) they'll have no partner to pool their points with. But self-love is still love, so get it on, singletons!
  • If I can manage to perform in multiple events throughout the 24-hour period that is the first of May, do I get to add those points together? Yes, all points gained during events performed from 12:00am May 1st through 11:59pm May 1st all contribute to your total score for the day's competition. If you really want to win and can manage to spend all day outdoors getting it on, more power to you, Lovechild.
  • If I can get multiple people involved in the Olympics, can we pool our points together? The important rule of thumb here is cross-mojination -- all participants in a group must be performing Activities on one or more other members of the group for them to be considered a team. So, two sets of two who were in close proximity but not actually performing Activities on each other constitute two distinct teams. Now, mix those two pairs into a big steaming four of a kind of love, and you've got an awesome point-scoring FoM Olympics powerhouse! Alternatively, those two sets of two could perform part of the competition as separate duos, but then reshuffle themselves and continue competing with a new partner. This is allowed under the FoM Olympics rules, allows for all participants to pool their points into a grand total for the entire four-person team, and is also very, very hot.