Today With Your Wife

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Today With Your Wife
ReleaseArtificial Heart
Release date07-22-2010
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"Today With Your Wife" is a song on Jonathan Coulton's eighth studio album, Artificial Heart.


"Today With Your Wife" was one of the songs to be debuted on July 22, 2010 at Coulton's first ever full band concert in Northampton, MA.


"Today With Your Wife" is available on the album Artificial Heart, which can be ordered through Coulton's website or on iTunes and Zune.

Fan Interpretations[edit]

A common interpretation of this song is that it's told from the point of view of the wife's new boyfriend on a rainy day out, after a divorce, with "your wife" being used ironically toward the ex-husband. Artificial Heart features recurring themes of abandonment, breakups, and marriage.

It also may be sung from the perspective of a friend of the husband, who has always carried a flame for his friend’s wife. The wife may or may not have felt the same attraction, but in any case, the singer has decided to leave his feelings unspoken. The chance encounter revives those feelings, and soaks the melody in unrequited longing. You should have been I was.

It may also be about a brother or similar figure meeting up with the wife character, a widow, and talking about her late husband. This seems most likely, given the somber and regretful tone of the song, the refrain "You should have been there," and the speaker and wife agreeing that it had been "too long" since they'd spoken.

Another possible scenario is that it is simply about a man having a chance meeting with a friend's wife, having a simple conversation, and parting ways, only to find himself later having to explain the entire event, which then taints what was perfectly innocent with the unspoken implication that there was ever anything to worry about.

Yet another turns on the bridge ("stupid car stuck in the snow / getting home too late to go / I'm not saying anything"). The singer is implying that the husband is neglecting his family, and it hasn't gone unnoticed.

Another possibility is that the narrator is the wife's father, giving his overworked son-in-law a guilt trip for not hanging around all day with his daughter, even though he's hard at work at the office supporting his family, or trying to get home in a blizzard. Not that I'm bitter.

Another theory is that the subject of the song has died, and a family friend encountered his widow and children. However, since the diagnostic metrics indicate that the primary theme of the song is betrayal, this is unlikely the intention of the song.

Another is that it is sung by the new boyfriend of the listener's wife, who met her on a rainy day that the listener stood her up (due to being stuck in the snow).

Another interpretation is that the narrator is an older son of the wife and husband, who no longer lives with them, and his father was never around when he was growing up, which is why he does not refer to him as his father. And now his father once again didn't show up to something the family was doing.

Another interpretation is that the Narrator is a friend of the Husband, who is cheating on the Wife. The refrain is therefore a sorrowful admonishment.


Primary Theme:

Secondary Themes:

Other Themes:

  • Death (?)
  • Grieving (?)
  • Infidelity (?)
  • Neglect
  • Divorce (?)

Artificial Heart
1. Sticking It To Myself · 2. Artificial Heart · 3. Nemeses · 4. The World Belongs to You · 5. Today With Your Wife · 6. Sucker Punch · 7. Glasses · 8. Je Suis Rick Springfield · 9. Alone at Home · 10. Fraud · 11. Good Morning Tucson · 12. Now I Am An Arsonist · 13. Down Today · 14. Dissolve · 15. Nobody Loves You Like Me · 16. Still Alive · 17. Want You Gone · 18. The Stache