User:DarthMasterChief

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Oh hi.


I uh... well I'm not good at describing myself...

So.. yeah.

I make art sometimes.


I found out about Jonathan Coulton when I was playing Portal, and wanted to download Still Alive. In searching I found Spiff's video for Re: Your Brains. I viewed a few more, including Creepy Doll, Mandelbrot Set and Bacteria. I then searched for him on Wikipedia, and found his site. Then I got bored and came here. I clicked random page and was taken to a bunch of stuff about some random drug. Later I found a discussion that they are trying to be deleted. I wanted to help so I made an account.

I'm also 14.


Also I edit some of the lyrics in some JoCo songs to make them more like something else, most of them based on the Halo storyline, of which I am a fanatic. For example here is Dance, Sergeant Johnson, Dance:


A voice like honey, no one else could fill his boots

The Elites and Jackals, the Grunts and the Brutes

He shoots ‘em down with perfection and grace

He’s done by noon, he goes home to his place

Where he sleeps and he waits for the night


Just before midnight he gets up, gets out of bed

A bottle of water, a cigar to clear his head

He gets his shades, now he’s headed downtown

Picks up one pie, puts another one down

And his body hums and the music’s playing


Dance, Sergeant Johnson, dance

It’s a cold galaxy, nobody understands

The feeling you can’t keep inside

Go, Avery Johnson, go

All the club kids are watching your plasmas glow

With the light of a truth you can’t hide

That the war is the war, but the dance goes on forever


He shimmies his shoulders, undulates his strong hips

Arms akimbo, Jaggeresque, he pouts his lips

A crowd has formed, they are gathering round

Just to hear the incredible sound

Of a genius smashing expectations


Dance, Sergeant Johnson, dance

It’s a cold Earth, nobody understands

The feeling you can’t keep inside

Go, Sergeant Johnson, go

All the club kids are watching your Spike grenade glow

With the light of a truth you can’t hide

That the war is the war, but the dance goes on forever


He’s dancing, he’s a machine

Like no one, that they’ve ever seen

He’s flying, he’s living a dream


The magic fades as Sol comes up, it’s time to leave

A hand on his shoulder, he turns around: it’s Jilan al-Cygni

He takes her hand, spins her body just so

He holds her close, they will never let go

As the room explodes, they dance like angels


Dance, Avery Johnson, dance

It’s a cold world, nobody understands

The feeling you can’t keep inside

Go, Sergeant Johnson, go

All the club kids are watching your cigar glow

With the light of a truth you can’t hide

That the dance is the dance, but the war goes on forever





And here's Master Chief Set:


Homicidal monsters! cried the terrified marine

Every one of them is a plasma in my ass

I hate the Prophets and the Unggoy

I fear the Jiralhaene, yeh,

And this Sangheili makes me want to cry

And a million miles away a Sergeant shot his gun

On a cold Eridanus day a man named John-117 was born


His disdain for Artificial Intelligence and his unique battlefield insights

Left him well equipped to face the Covies down

He saw that infinite ammo could be made by triple As

He used his big BR to turn the war around

And he looked below the storm and saw a vision in his head

A purple female form

He picked his AR up and he shot his foes down


Throw a sticky called P in a complex field

Let P blow up a bunch of Cs

And let P blow up more Cs

And let P blow up more Cs and so on

If the series of P’s should always stay

Close to me and never trend away

Then you’re basically fucked


Master Chief you’re a Spartan on fire

You’re a glowing plasma

You’re a blue box of grenadas[sic]

You’re one badass fucking human

And you’re just in time to save the day

Sweeping all our fears away

You can save the Earth in a tiny way


MC’s in heaven, at least he will be when he’s dead

Right now he’s still alive and killing Covenant

He gave us order out of chaos, he gave us hope where there was none

And his pistol succeeds where others fail

If you ever lose your way, a Sergeant Major’ll shoot his gun

From a million miles away, a little miracle will come to take you home


Just throw a sticky called P in a complex field

Let P blow up a bunch of Cs

And let P blow up more Cs

And let P blow up more Cs and so on

If the series of P’s should always stay

Close to me and never trend away

Then you’re not the Chief


Master Chief you’re a ninja on fire

You’re a glowing frickin’ plasma

You’re a square shaped box of frags

You’re one lucky fucking SPARTAN

And you’re just in time to save the day

Sweeping all our fears away

You can save the Earth in a tiny way

And you’re just in time to save the day

Sweeping all our fears away

You can save the Earth in a tiny way

Go on save the Earth in a tiny way

Come on save the Earth in a tiny way




When the normal Master Chief isn't enough... | (Just call me Darth)