First of May Olympics

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Revision as of 19:16, 4 February 2009 by (talk) (→‎Rules)
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The First of May Olympics are an annual event, started in 2008 by Spiff. The aim is to copulate in the open air as much as possible, in line with the song's lyrics.


Each participant gets points for their own part of the festivities, so if both you and your partner complete Activity Two (for example), then your team gets a total of 10 points for that. If only one person gets the stimulating, it's only worth 5 points. If you also completed any of the other "events", add those points in too. Add up your total points to get a combined score for your team and post it here on May 2nd. No fibbing!

All events must take place outdoors. NO POINTS are awarded for any of these events if they take place within the confines of two or more walls. Being under a roof but not surrounded by walls, as in the case of being under an overhang of some kind, does count as being outdoors.

CLARIFICATION: a car counts as indoors for the purpose of the FoM Olympics. No points will be awarded for activities performed in a car.



  1. Kissed passionately enough to draw stares from people around you, if there are any people around you, for at least 5 minutes (the presence of onlookers isn't mandatory, but if they were around, they'd stare at you) = 1 point.
  2. Manually stimulated a partner to a happy ending (you know what I mean) = 5 points.
  3. Orally stimulated a partner to a happy ending = 15 points. UPDATE: In the event that both participants on a team are of the lesbian persuasion, an additional +10 points will be awarded for oral stimulation of the partner to the happy ending, however these additional points will only be awarded upon the successful completion of the partner's second happy ending. A single sapphic happy ending will still be worth only 15 points.
  4. Performed the deed to to its happy ending = 25 points (remember fellas, if only you get the happy ending, you're missing out on adding her points to your total)
  5. Performed the deed but not to a happy ending = 15 points (you should get something for trying, yes?)
  6. Each additional position after the first, the position must be performed for at least 2 minutes = +3 points, with a maximum position-switching total bonus of +15 per participant


  1. Completely nekkid = +15 points.
  2. Partially nekkid (a requirement if you're going to do the deed anyway) = +5 points.
  3. Covered up (under a blanket, no fair) = -5 (cancels out the "partially nekkid" bonus completely)


  1. Location is so isolated as to preclude detection (e.g. you live on a farm miles away from the closest prying eyes) = -10 points.
  2. The deed was performed so quickly that the whole thing didn't take at least 10 minutes = -10 points


An example -- two partners, one manually stimulates the other to the happy ending, then they partially strip and have a quicky behind the shed. 5 points (one manual) plus 10 points (2x partially nekkid) plus 25 points (he got his happy ending here) plus 15 points (she didn't get a happy ending during the deed, but what are you going to do?) minus 20 points (it was a quickie, which decrements each participant 10 points). Total = 35 points.

NOTE: Singles may participate in the FoM Olympics by performing any of the acts described above on themselves while outdoors, however they will be at a disadvantage since (a) some of the events will be pretty difficult to do to yourself, and (b) they'll have no partner to pool their points with. But self-love is still love, so get it on, singletons!

Please post your totals on the talk page. Awards will be given out once winners are confirmed and award trophy icons created. No fibbing, please!