I Crush Everything

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I Crush Everything
ReleaseWhere Tradition Meets Tomorrow
Release date10-01-2004
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Other media
{{#song:I+Crush+Everything }}

Demo version: {{#song:I+Crush+Everything+(Demo) }} "I Crush Everything" is the third track on Jonathan Coulton's second album, Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow.


"I Crush Everything" was originally written as part of John Hodgman's Little Gray Books lecture series. Specifically, "I Crush Everything" was part of Lecture 25, entitled, "The Animals: Are They Our Enemies." This lecture took place on March 3, 2004.

Live performance

"I Crush Everything" is performed somewhat regularly at Jonathan Coulton concerts. Usually prefaced with a short explanation, "This song is about a self-loathing giant squid", the live version is essentially the same as the version on "Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow".


  • Coulton has said that when he was writing this song, he hadn't actually settled on it being about a giant squid, but more of just a giant sea monster.



"I Crush Everything" is available for purchase in the Jonathan Coulton MP3 Store as an individual track or as part of Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow. Of course, this song is also included as part of the "Everything" playlist.

Downloadable FLAC versions of the above are available in the Jonathan Coulton FLAC Store


As of February 2008, the CD version of Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow is out of print and is no longer available.

Other versions

The demo version of "I Crush Everything" is also available on the MP3 Store as an individual track or as part of Other Experiments. This song is also included as part of the "Everything" playlist.

A karaoke version of "I Crush Everything" (studio recording version) is available on the Jonathan Coulton Karaoke Store.


Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow
1. The Future Soon · 2. Skullcrusher Mountain · 3. I Crush Everything · 4. Betty and Me · 5. Mandelbrot Set