Uncle John/Lyrics
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your uncle's late again
last-minute Christmas shopping at the airport
a dozen ringer tees
he bought at Eddie Rickenbacker's bar
ladies' extra extra large
(chorus:)
you know your uncle John is gonna ruin Christmas again
please don't invite your uncle John
you know your uncle John is gonna make a mess of things
we won't feel better 'til he's gone
your uncle John
he brings it up again
the famous apple crisp incident of two thousand ten
he motions for more gin
as he loudly criticizes your cousin Jane
who cries all the time anyway
(repeat chorus)
he borrows Nana's car
and staggers in at three a.m. with a new girlfriend
this one barely speaks
she studies cosmetology at Pismo Beach
and she's got a Hitler neck tattoo
(repeat chorus)
John!
